airport again

It seems like being in the airport is the best most undistracted (ironically) place for me to write.
3 weeks ago I got back from Argentina and I loved being so far away from normalcy that I could just think..
I loved not having a TV or bills to pay or something to look up on the internet, or a phone call to return.
My mind gets so cluttered during everyday life that I often loose the ability to think clearly or creatively. I am constantly searching for words of how to express myself in just day to day things when I get like this.
I know women get 'mommy brain'....but what happens when you get it and you don't have kids?
Does it get worse when you have kids (my poor kids!)?

Anyhow I am in Memphis now. It was such a cool trip. I was here by myself for work.
Sometimes I chicken out when going to touristy places alone, but for some reason there was nothing holding me back. I loved Memphis!!!
In downtown there is a hotel called the Peabody that has a magnificent rooftop deck that overlooks the whole city, including the Missippi that runs along it.
They have ducks that live on this rooftop in what is called the "Duck Palace".
They are actually performing ducks. Sadly I never got to see one of their performances, but apparently they march down a red carpet to the fountain in the beautiful lobby and do a little dance.
I kid you not...lol Memphis is crazy!
Then I went on to Beale street where all the blues clubs are, including BB Kings (no NYC is not the original! ;) .
It was a great time of just wandering and people watching. It was a beautiful evening. There was a fabulous blues band in the park. The lead singer serenaded me. It was all just really great.
Then I went shopping, got trinkets and added to my refridgerator magnet collection.
I love Memphis. I cannot wait to come back....

I love the airport early in the morning, even before the stores are open. It reminds me why I love to fly. It reminds me that on a whim I could purchase a ticket and end up in Bhutan or Bali or Morroco...
I am going to Northern most Maine today.
It is only an hour or so from Canada, only 5 from Quebec (where I have wanted to go forever since my great-grandmother Ayette was from there).
Anyhow, I won't get to go to Canada this time since it is just a short 4 days of work, but I do plan to run on the rocky coast (I am staying only 10 minutes from the ocean) and eat a fabulous lobster dinner.
I love new places, even if they aren't the places of my dreams.
I love societies that are so different then my own.
I promist to post pictures later this week of the majestic cliffs and lighthouses. :)

I haven't posted since my last 'pity party'. The funny thing for me about 'blogging' or when I was younger and used to journal is that I only feel truly motivated to do it when I feel down or need to get thoughts or feelings out. BUT for the sake of self-preservation (and not wanting to feel too emotionally exposed over the world wide web), I am going to have to find other things to blog about, since well I don't have kids.

My friend Kat came into town last night from Georgia. Since that last post, I ended up in the hospital, and then spent most of Feb. and March recovering. So needless to say I haven't gone out too much in the last few months. So last night Kat and I went into NYC. We had such a blast.

In the West Village on Bedford Street is one of my favorite resturants, called Moustache (Sarah did I take you here?)....ok admittedly not the best name for a resturant, but honestly it is the type of resturant that makes NYC what it is. It is a really small, authentic (or as far as I know :)) Middle Eastern restarant that blasts turkishmusic and has excellent food.

Not to mention that the West Village is just the coolest place in NYC. It is like stepping back into history with it's cobblestone streets and the brownstone town homes the same as they were a 100 year ago. I love it...

After that we walked around Greenwich Village for hours, wandering into random stores and just appreciating the sights, smells (including some second hand pot smoke at one point) and sounds that make up New York City on a saturday night. Including a famous person sighting,

Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock was just standing on the side of road talking to some guys outside of a comedy club off Bleeker Street. I would have walked up and talked to him, but I am never cool talking to famous people in general, never mind when they are on my favorite tv show ;).

Maybe next time?

I would venture to say that I have been sick about half my life. I have always had quite the discussion with God about why I didnt get the kind of immue system or endurance that others have.
It sounds cliche but I do have moments of clarity (when i am feeling better generally) when I am so grateful to God for the inner strength and the wisdom that these struggles have brought me.
But I dont feel that way right now.
Others get colds, I get pneumonia (case in point, right now).
And then I cry.... and hold pity parties...
lol
I have gotten to the point in my life too that I refuse to miss things. I went for a week and 1/2 not knowing I had severe pnuemonia b/c I just refused to accept that i was sick AGAIN...in the past year i have had chronic bronchitis, and pnuemonia twice. Not to mention the nerve damage, ear disorder (and getting permenent tubes)...
when does it end?
ok so thanks for coming to my pity party, tommorrow it will be a real party when I am feeling better :)
I just needed to vent outloud...thanks for listening friends...:)

Tonight I had dinner with some old friends...lovely conversation, a cute little bistro type restuarant and the best chocolate hazlenut torte...
I have been a little low, with energy and enthusiam this week. I tend to get the 'hotel room' blues when I have been home and then come back out on the road. I eventually adjust but it takes some getting used to. I find myself forgetting that it can be the small details in life that make it fun. I get tierd and just want to eat lunch at work and then I often after a long day just want to eat dinner in my room.
I forget how important it is, as a woman, and as a human being to have beauty in my life.
How the litte things really add up. Like enjoying a nice dinner out or listening to nice music. Or especially having a mid-week dinner with old friends.
So I guess what I am really saying is that choclate really does do the trick... :)

On a separate note, I am sure most of you have heard by now about all the cosmetic products that have been ruled as dangerous to children. Ingredients in powders and baby lotions! It is just appalling to me, but a fact that I found out tonight is even more appalling. The FDA does not require that any tests be done before a new ingredient is entered to the market.
So something can burn our faces off, but only when concerned citizens start screaming (and suing) will anything get done about it...
I found these two sites if you want to check them out...http://www.safecosmetics.org/
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/
Pass them around!

One day at a time (not the tv show)

Each time I have thought about blogging this month I have been comfortably sitting on my couch watching some dumb but yet guiltily entertaining reality tv show.
I used to entirely poo poo reality tv. I think for the most part it is tacky and voyeristic. However thank you writer's strike for making me have no other choice (I mean a girl has to watch a little tv now and again, right?)
The year, despite (or inspite of?) my many, many new year resolutions, has started out challenging.
I got the flu, a week later my sister had emergency surgury and I rushed down to N.C. to be with her. To top that lovely ice cream sundae off with a cherry, I have had couple really intense 'conversations' with my boyfriend that just seem to set us back to the day we had our first fight, confused and frustrated.
However I began this year with this strong desire to live with my eyes open. To feel even if it means to feel pain, to live even if that means being tierd.
I woke a week or so before Christmas coming out of a fog that I have been in for entirely too long...All of sudden I had 'resolutions'. I hadn't had a resolute thought for years...something I really wanted to strive for. A goal, a passion, a burning...where had these things been for so long and how had I lived so contently with their abscence?

I have always had the peace inside that said that life is a learning experience, but yet my Dr. Jekeyl side still screams for perfection. I long to just be cool and effortless and to look like I know what I am doing with life and relationships and love. But I am not.
Not cool, never have been. :) But you know for the first time in my life I am ok with that.
I trip when I walk. I most often say the wrong thing when it means the most. I have even been known to wear two different shoes at the same time (by accident, I swear).
But I love passionately. I give generously. I dance like noone is watching. And I am writing in this blog...It's a start.

Technology and New Year's Resolutions...

I work for a computer company. I TEACH people how to work a very complex software system.
Yet I have been trying to figure out the process of this blog for about a year now. So please feel free to let me know if anyone has any suggestions on how to manage this (how to put pictures on here, other than your profile pic)?
I am watching HGTV and really would rather focus all of my attention on the kitchen that is about to be redone (and the cute carpenters that are weilding their hammers so skillfully), however I have promised myself that in the '08 I will be writing and 'creating' (creating whatever, just creating, doesn't matter what) more.
So, now I am off sleep so that I can complete the second part of my New Year's resolution tommorrow (will that be enough for the year?)---yoga class.
Congratulations to me for completing my first blog! And thank you Sarah Lou and Bethie for the inspiration that I draw from yours! They are beautiful!